Literally things I reblog and post,
Wow, such a surprise.
im so worried about tall boys….be safe…be careful up there… maybe u should come down here and kiss me
less male gaze, more female gays, u feel me
when they were prepping me for the surgery the nurse put one of those cloth hats over my head to keep the hair out of my face
she said “here’s your party hat”
and i was already trippin balls so I said
and wiggled around on the table like a gleeful slug
My anaconda will consider it
My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.
"My boyfriend/girlfriend won’t let me"
What was that?
How lovely congratulations on your 3rd parental guardian”
But seriously if your partner won’t let you do something (eg, hang out with your friends)? That’s actually a GIANT RED FLAG for an abusive relationship, please get help or get out of there.
I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him
I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”
and he went dead silent
had the opportunity and fucking seized it